Mommy's Job- per 4 yr old Lawson

"When I was three I wouldn't eat apple skins now that I am 4, I eat Apple skins.  When I am five I am going to eat everything.

"When I grow up I am going to eat every thing. Except fish, and meat. Yuck"

 Hey Lawson what do you want to do for work when you grow up? 

L- a coffee drinker that's when I want to be" 

"As a job? Drink coffee for a job? That would be awesome. What  does mommy does for work?"

L-"you drink coffee for you job. Lots and lots of coffee all day long. For-EVER!"

HA. 

Oh Say Can You Say? Wait, what did you say?

This child of ours pops off with the craziest things. I NEED TO WRITE THEM DOWN.

Today we were out and about and Lawson say a man on crutches with an above the knee amputation, and he said "Hi, I was NOT expected that!" Pointing at his missing leg, then he turns to me and says " I am SHOCKED"

Boy was I also. I looked at the man with what I hope was an apology in my eyes, as I told lawson that sometimes people get boo boos that can't be fixed and sometimes people lose parts of their bodies. It is something that just happens and we are glad they are okay and alive".

Lawson just kind of looked for a few seconds and introduced himself and told the guy he was 4 and could roar like a dinosaur and all was forgotten.  The guy didn't seem put off by it, but I was sweating bullets and realized I need a book or something to know what to say in these situations. HA.

(I was also mildly afraid that he would shun this man, like he has shunned all his broken toys since he was a baby. Just now getting him to realize that "we still love it anyways" isn't just about the toys....one day I might lose a leg and don't want to cast off. HA.

Tonight at the start of Bed/Bath routine my child was NOT wanting to go to bed at ALL. He wanted to stay awake for Daddy (who was HOURS away from getting home, so that wasn't happening)

After a decent back and forth of challenging me, me giving reasons, blah blah blah. I finally had enough and said "I am not KIDDING. Get in the bathtub!"

Lawson let out the drama and was pointing at me and said "YOU'RE A BOY MOMMY".

Me- *giggle* A BOY?

L- Its NOT FUNNNNY- You a boyyy

Me- snicker- I a girl honey. Do you think I am boy b/c I am making you get ready for bed?

L- NOT a boy....you are like THIS ** Hands me a toy wooly mammoth with long horns (from new movie the good dino.) "YOU'RE A BULLY"

oh. well. I feel like double poop.   I guess the laughing at him when I didn't understand pushed him over the edge.

AAAND as I was typing this Lawson woke up and is a crying mess. Apparently only I can solve this catastrophe of darkness and lack of daylight. Doesn't matter that daddy is already in bed, and lawson is ready for sleep.....and I have more stuff to do out here.

NOPE.  I told Lawson he had to find a way to snuggle with Daddy or not...but I wasn't staying b/c i Had work to do.

The result?  "Mommy, you DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE".

sigh.

I know this happens to everyone. Even the most puritan child probably smited their mom at some point. Or whatever they did.

Such a day. LOL

Random tidbits

We are sitting here the night before Ls surgery for Tonsillectomy and Adnoidectomy   Fun times, fun time. We have explained it the best we can to him, but being a 4 year old- it is pretty hard to understand. He has finally started calling his tonsils "tonsils" instead of "Tonsticles", so that is kinda sad. 

He still calls propellors "Compellors", and I think that is the last thing he mispronounces. I  miss that babyish stage. 

I still can't believe my tiny little baby is FOUR.

 Did the little "ask your kid these questions.  HA 

My name is Lawson
I am 4 years old. 
I live  here in my house
My house is in pensacola, FL
I live with Mom and dad and me
My mom’s name is  Laura King, IV
She is 64 years old. 
She weighs 31 pounds. 
Her favorite thing to do is drink coffee
She does not like to get wet
She likes to eat  lettuce
She likes to drink coffeeI like it when she be nice to me
My dad’s name is Lawrence King the Third
He is 64 years old.
He weighs 3064
His favorite thing to do is swim
He does not like to drink warm stuff
He likes to eat lettuce
He likes to drink chocolate milk
I like it when he plays with me
I love it when Mom or Dad cooks cheese toast
My favorite food to eat is cereal
I don’t like to eat lettuce
My favorite place to eat is at my table
I like to order meat
My favorite color is pink

What makes me happy? Mommy

What I’m afraid of is bears
What makes me sad? no one playing with me

What is my favorite thing to do? play with sticker
What I wish for is a fish
If I could go anywhere, I’d go to the zoo
My favorite holiday is Christmas
My favorite toy is Dinosaurs
My favorite animal is Doggy
My favorite book is about Triceratops

My favorite song is Jingle Bells, Jingle all the Poop
My favorite game is Hide and Poop and trying to trick each other
My favorite thing to do at school is seeing Liam
What I know about Jesus is he kills bad people   (WE NEED MORE SUNDAY SCHOOL)
When I grow up I want to be an engineer
I love Mommy, but I don't like Pooties

Random conversations with Lawson

So Lawson is always cracking me up- it is his age.  Probably nothing any other kid hasn't said, and probably not as hysterical as I think it is...but I want to remember.

(L is LAWSON, M: me 

G: gramma- Lynda D:daddy)

Scene: watching Christmas Disney parade and Star Wars characters on camera

L: mommy what is that?

M: its a storm trooper

L: mommy what is that?

M: its darth vader

L: oh look mommy!! It's a gorilla!!

*with a confused voice* "with a PURSE?"

M: well honey, that's chewbacca **trying to figure out how to explain what a wookie is**

L:mumble mumble whine

G: pardon me?

L:  I AM A HUMAN NOT A PARDON MEEEEE

(???)

Upon return from Disney

You know you're raising an Disney addict when you come home from Disney and your child takes his new stuffed Rudolph,  sits down on the sofa next to him and says "now sit back relax and enjoy the ride".

The Things They Say...

You know you always hear how kids say the darnedest things and are so honest it hurts. Well this fact was made CLEAR to me yesterday at Target.

Ha. 

"Lawson-thank you for being so good while I picked up groceries. It's makes me really happy!

(Lawson) "it doesn't make me happy"

Me-"what? It doesn't make you happy?"

L- "no it makes me very miserable"

Me"shopping makes you miserable?"

L"yes. And being good"

He has learned miserable from the Mr Men series "Mr Happy". Hilarious

This boy is quite the chatterbox lately- and he is becoming a morning person.  Ouch. 

It's MAY

Apparently I post once a year. HA


Okay- so I am always saying I going to write down all these funny things 4 says(I am totally going to call him 4 on here. Not b/c of a popular book at ALL- but b/c he is the 4 and I don't want to type out his name a zillion times) 

Since I text people immediately and tell them....I figure I can copy and paste. More for my memory and to share with him one day than anything else...but I am sure if there is anyone out there, you might enjoy it also. :)

So without further adieu

Told him today that he couldn't have any more watermelon until he ate one triangle of his sandwich. He came back a few minutes later and wanted more watermelon. I looked to his plate and it was empty. He never leaves nothing. So I asked him where his sandwich went. 

"Hmmmm. Maybe it jumped into my tummy?"

Me- no it didn't. 

"It disappeared like smoke"

Me-try again Dear 

"Maaaaaybeeeee it fell...into the sink?!"  

It was in the sink.  

I am shocked he didn't say that it was in the pool and he had to go get it. This kid loves water in any form. Except on his toys. OH MY GOSH DON'T LET IT GET ON HIS TOYS.