VICTORY. One step at at time.

Those of you "In The Know"...know that I have been struggling with my weight for, well- like ever. I still have a hard time realizing I am not that girl in the pictures I love to look at. (I would insert an old skinny picture....but I don't have any on Lance's computer...hummm...) I still feel like it- until I try and wear cute clothes. I have been victim of many diets, exercise schemes, etc.

I have been going to a gym and hired a personal trainer almost A YEAR AGO!! Good grief, has it been that long?!?!? I did my usual "YIPPEE, I am gung-ho" the first, uh, month. THEN I got bored, tired, and felt like it was useless. I quit going. I artfully dodged my trainer's calls- fortunately for me she was swamped and I fell between the cracks..for a while. In July I started back- YIIPPPEE, Gung-ho again" I lost a bit of weight, but with work and injuries I slowly quit going after a few months. I realized I felt bad, that energy was gone. I put back on a few pounds (uh, 8.5- but who is really counting?) and I felt bad. Physically, mentally, my self esteem was in the pitts b/c I didn't follow through AGAIN!!!

Luckily for me- My trainer KW is a patient person, and she understands. I got back into it- and I had to start meeting with her TWO times a week so I could get all my sessions in before they expired. So here I am in the middle of January after a few months of meeting with her twice a week and I feel good. I feel physically and mentally good. I have learned a lot from her, and I feel confident when I walk into that HUGE gym with all sorts of muscly, veins poking out body sculpting people in there. I try not to compare myself to others- I get to depressed when I do that. Who cares if the guy next to me is doing a pull down with 125# and I am only 27.5. I am doing it.

Today I had a great workout. My doctor said that he wanted me to SWEAT for 30 minutes 5 days a week. EASY PEASY I thought. I could sweat eating really spicy food for 30 minutes NO PROB. I could work up a sweat eating cookies for 30 minutes!! LOL. No really 30 min. cardio sweating. That is not including my weight training. pffftt. Whatever- keep dreaming.

So when I got on the treadmill the other day I walked for 30..didn't exactly sweat the entire time, but you know. Normally I walk after my workout, but not really a get the heart rate up and stay up kinda walking. Not really what KW (my trainer) wants. BUT, I am getting there.

Today I am so proud of myself. I stayed on the treadmill for 38 minutes (there was a show about the Steelers on). I jogged for about 15 minutes. I am insanely proud of myself. I never jog.

Let me tell you why
1. I did a half-marathon in 2005. Swore I would never run again unless someone was dying.
2. I am unsteady. I fall. Especially on treadmills.
3. I hate it. Did I tell you I couldn't walk for a day two days after the 1/2 marathon?!?

ugh. I am also scared of messing up my knees. I did a slow gentle jog and nothing happened. I felt great- I had a good workout afterwards.

I feel all happy inside. ;)

Now to clean my house, and catch the darn gremlins that making it dirty when I am asleep.