Do what with them pills

So we had a busy day at work today, what is new. I had to do my usual phone calls to patients, this particular one tonight was regarding a follow up on a nasty skin infection.

After a 5 minute conversation with the 80 year old grandmother that does NOT understand about HIPPA, she realized that her son WAS at home....I talked to him,and he was doing "okay"..."some better", but still "oozing"..uh, okay....since he was seen on the 5th,that is not really better,but okay. So I let the doctor know.

I called the patient back with the instructions to start a different medication since he should be just about done with the 10 day course of antibiotics that we prescribed 9 days ago. He was going on (and on) about how he had a half of a bottle left of them, and etc. I asked if he got the pills filled that day or the next from when he was seen, and he said yes...and I said he should be just about done.....he said nope...and then I said..

"Well you must have pissed a few pills then"

Luckily he was the type of patient that doesn't listen to a word that comes out of your mouth. I quickly recovered with "finish all of that, and start on the next"

To make matter worse, my friend/co-worker Nancy was standing directly in front of me and Stella was sitting behind me and heard me. They started laughing, Nancy is looking around saying "Patients pissing pills? Gotta go to the ER" I am exploding on the inside, crying with suppressed laughter on the outside.


I attempt to recover...deep breath

I THEN asked him where did he want me to call his next prescription...he told me that he didn't know.....he asked me where should he go? What would be closest to his house?? I told him really didn't know, I didn't know where his house was. "oh, I guess that is true" was the stellar response that I got.

Then he said. "I moved last week to my mom's though, what about from hers?" I gave up. I asked him where the nearest Wal-Mart was. I couldn't take it. He really thought I should know where his momma lives.

What is scary is that if I had her address, and my GPS enabled phone, I could find the closest pharmacy for him. YIKES.

crazy.

At least I didn't do what one my doctor friend's told me last night that happened one time when he/she was dictating.........when they were done dictating they signed of with a "In Jesus Holy name, Amen"

I wonder if the dictation clerk charged him for that?

HA HA HA HA